Hi my name is Jessica and I’m not the new centerfold for PETA, bare-breasted save a crudités bikini bottom, fortunately or unfortunately for you. You might be familiar with Venus in Furs (1969/70) the nauseatingly elitist movie, which left me with a disturbing memory of endless nipples, fleshy stars that I could’ve spent a lifetime counting had I cared enough. My hope is that I am neither as boring or obnoxious as the film, a flim that is kind enough to let me twist its title around for my own use while simultaneously bad mouthing it.
But I’m being tangential on purpose. I’m hesitant to point out the obvious tension in the title of this blog, the juxtaposition of nouns–nouns at war. A title that may leave you wondering and hoping that I will get on with my point already. Well, ok. In a very 12-step sort of way, I will make my announcement.
Hi, my name is Jessica and I wear fur.
There, I said it. It’s out now. The ceramic plaque hanging from my purse that reads vegan would probably be more accurate if it said vegan hypocrite. I’m self-centered enough to believe that strangers stare at me wondering how in the world I could be such a proud vegan while prancing around in my cute little down-feather, rabbit-fur lined, winter coat. Well, I am a proud vegan, and an ashamed fur wearer.
My name is Jessica and I wear fur.
I wear down feathers.
I wear leather.
And I wear wool.
Have I no shame?!
I even have these kickass bright-red leather Dr. Martin’s, and while the outside is vinyl, the inside is as leather as leather can be.
You can’t see me now but trust that I am sitting at my laptop typing this, driveling and drooling, wiping my snot away with my sleeve (not really). And my sleeve is so saturated that it’s sticking to my arm (again, not true, but go with it).
Look, my winter coat is incredibly warm… and probably the most fashionable thing I own. I never ever bought fur before this in my entire life and for just as long was strongly opposed to such a thing. But I had a moment when all I could think about was my own stress within the bubble that is my little life and within that moment I was as far away from my values as you are in purchasing a ticket to mars. What can I say?
I’m sorry Dylan, the bull! I have torn off the skin of your ancestors and tied them around my brittle and calloused, undeserving, feet! How will you ever forgive me?
Half of my winter wardrobe is wool; Louise, the sheep, do you think we could ever be friends?? I am eternally sorry! I know how abusive those sheep shearers can be!!
>>Insert overly dramatic heaving breaths. Insert snot and drool that run rivers down my neck.<<
And… cut.
I’m not really that dramatic.
First, let me explain my hypocrisy. I have only been vegan about 6-8 weeks this time around. It takes a while to transition out all of the old clothing. It’s silly to just throw them away. But that’s actually an aside.
I writing to tell you that you’re not perfect, and neither am I. I’m writing to tell you that things take time, sometimes lots of time. Living a lifestyle of having respect for all living things doesn’t require terrorism or self-deprecation.
And I’m writing to tell you that just because I made the choice to be vegan, doesn’t mean that I expect you to or that I am judging you down to your leather shoe strings.

Borrowed from http://www.greenisthenewred.com
Everyone has their own story, and for me, there were five years between the last vegan chapter and this one. I needed to take that time to figure out who I was, to figure out who from the inner world of my childhood and adolescence I was going to bring with me into my adulthood. For some, there are no vegan chapters and there never will be. It’s silly to think that one day the whole world will be vegan.
So many people tell me, “Oh, I can’t be vegan,” or “I’m sorry I’m eating chicken in front of you,” or “I just can’t afford organic food no matter how much I try.” And I say, “It’s OK.”
It’s OK.
That’s all I wanted to tell you, really. It’s OK.
There are ways to improve health and protect the environment, animals, and people for all, even without shopping organic, and even if you eat meat. There are ways to do the best that you can do with what you have (time, money, or emotions). And I swear I will get to all the practical tips relating to this in another blog entry, soon enough!
A wise friend once told me (ehem, Kelley) that it doesn’t take the entire world to agree on something to make change. And it’s true. If it weren’t true then we’d all either be dead because we agreed on brutality or we’d have world peace. And as a social worker, I know where enduring change comes from. It comes from a large enough group of people bugging the hell out of lawmakers until the people get what they want, and then from those same people keeping their feet on the neck of these lawmakers to ensure that the laws are enforced and don’t get reversed.
Bottom line is that we can’t all be passionate about every single cause that’s out there because then passion would be arbitrary. But I urge you to find your passion. Remember the golden rule (unless you are into S&M). Be the person you wanted to be before responsibilities talked you out of it. Stop letting your life revolve around you and think about the bigger picture, which inevitably involves others. Love your life no matter what. It’s just that simple.
The finest pleasure in life is kindness to others. -Jean de La Bruyere
Do Something (a site technically for teens, but psht, who cares)
Ordinary People Change the World
The Artist’s Way (find the creative person you forgot about, or improve the one you remember)
(c) Jessica Rowshandel, 2009




